One couple's new intense connection is questioned in the midst of the disintegration of another couple; who leads when four men come together?

Within a few hours, one couple ends and another begins. Adam is leaving Trent, ending their dysfunctional relationship. Jordan, a mover and recent San Francisco transplant, crosses paths with their roommate Spencer. Their intense connection is questioned as they watch the disintegration of Adam and Trent. Who leads when four men come together?

Growing up in large suburban apartment complexes in Sacramento, California, I was exposed to people from Africa to Iran. I was privileged to experience different cultures and traditions. Despite this diversity, one constant remained: expected gender roles. For men, masculinity was tied directly to strength, power, and sexual prowess. As a young boy I never fit in with the expected masculine role and was bullied for my differences.

When I came out at age 19, I ran into another conudrumm; what does it mean to be gay? I tried youth groups, explored the bar scene, and participated in the online community. I saw men categorized as jocks, fem twinks, and hairy daddies. Yet I never identified with or felt comfortable in any of these gendered worlds. My disidentification with these categories led to an aversion to creating gay stories once I began making films.

Before embarking on Who Leads I pored over many so-called gay films. I was repeatedly disturbed by the prominent stereotypes. Common stories centered on a gay male fantasy of seducing or tricking the “straight” man into a gay sex experience. The promise of two men having sex became the premise for so many of these films, thus titillating the viewer to watch its fulfillment.

Where was the dialogue exploring the situations and issues of the gay experience? They have largely been absent. Thankfully filmmakers such as Gus Van Sant, Wong Kar Wai, and Werner Fassbinder made films speaking to the gay experience as I felt it. They inspired me to use my experiences to make Who Leads, a visual poem that looks at men dealing with their expected gender roles in intimate relationships.